Receiving Feedback as a deServing Leader
Leaders have a tremendous influence on their direct reports, and one of the most critical areas for leadership success is being able to give honest feedback: praise when it’s deserved and coaching in the moment. I have spoken about this in the Accountability blog. But how do we flip the coin and ensure that we are also able to develop as deServing Leaders by creating an environment where we can also receive feedback and be held accountable. Continuous Improvement is a fundamental value at EVENTEQ, and it is essential to remember that it applies to everyone — including leaders.
So how can we specifically gather feedback consistent with the values of deServing Leadership? Here are a few ways:
Create a safe environment: There is perhaps nothing more interpersonally risky for an employee than to provide feedback to their manager or colleagues. As a deServing Leader, you can create a safe environment by letting those around you know that their feedback is welcome and that their honesty will be accepted positively. As counter-intuitive as it may sound, I believe that there is nothing more consistent with deServing Leadership than curiosity, rewarding honesty, and showing vulnerability. Rewarding honesty involves genuinely listening to and exploring another colleague’s perspective — especially when you may disagree with them.
Be Present: There is no better way to reinforce a safe environment than to eliminate all distractions and be present in the conversation. I often struggle with the urge to prepare my response while receiving feedback, but its important to remember that your only goal is to listen intently and take the time to evaluate and reflect before responding. Responding in the moment has the potential to negatively impact relationships and reduce your ability to connect with others.
Ask for constructive feedback: Asking open-ended questions elicit a helpful response. Asking “do you have any feedback for me” will rarely result in a useful answer. Instead, ask (“What did you hear when I outlined our 2020 cost management goals?”), concerning patterns (“How often do I get distracted in meetings?”), personal impact (“How did you feel when you came to address a concern about me not being present?”) and recommendations (“How can I be better at communicating my concerns?”).
Show Gratitude: My last blog was all about gratitude as a deServing Leadership principle. The best way to show gratitude is to show sincere appreciation. Consider how much time a colleague must have spent considering your performance, thinking about how to discuss it, and the risk they took by being candid.
Don’t debate and defend: It is natural as humans to disagree with some feedback. But deServing Leadership demands that you practice self-awareness and avoid offering contradictory evidence or challenging your colleague. Doing so will make you look defensive and likely decrease the likelihood that you may get feedback in the future.
Own your reaction: Recognize that regardless of how you feel after receiving feedback, those feelings are about you and not the person giving the feedback. Take the time to process and evaluate the feedback objectively.
Reflect and Evaluate: Respect the time and courage your colleague took by thinking through the meaning and implication of the feedback. You can learn from it and consider what parts to work on, what elements to disregard, and what parts require more in-depth understanding. It is often not worth going back regardless of how much you may disagree with the information.
Make a plan: All the steps before this set you up to make a plan and put it into practice. Pick one or two capabilities you want to improve, get clear about what “improved” looks like, and then consider the steps necessary for you to learn and adopt that new behavior.
Great leaders are great learners. Getting and learning from feedback isn’t always easy, but it is necessary if we want to become better. DeServing Leadership involves a never-ending pursuit of information and pushing ourselves to improve continuously. It mandates that you must build the skills to do this well to reach our full potential.