Managing Grief as a deServing Leader
Grief is usually not considered relevant in the professional workplace. But the COVID-19 pandemic has caused several kinds of grief. The loss of connection caused by social distancing has further impacted the loss of normalcy and the fear of economic toll. We are also feeling anticipatory grief — that feeling we get about an uncertain future. It’s essential to recognize that we are all grieving on a micro and a macro level. Once deServing leaders recognize that what they or their teammates are feeling is grief, they must exemplify commitment, persuasion, awareness, and foresight to facilitate the grieving process and solidify staff cohesion.
It starts with understanding the various stages of grief and remembering that the stages aren’t linear and may happen in any order. Harvard Business Review identifies the different stages of grief as — denial (This virus won’t affect us), anger (I got furloughed or lost all my commissions), bargaining (if I social distance for two weeks everything will be better, right?), sadness (I don’t know when this will end), and finally, acceptance (This is happening; I have to figure out how to proceed). It is paramount that we help our teams process all of the steps and get to the acceptance stage. In acceptance, we all find control.
Here are some techniques to make it less intense for ourselves and our teams:
Balance your thinking: Think of the best image when you are feeling the worst image taking shape. We all get a little sick, and the world continues. While we should not ignore either scenario, we should not allow either to dominate either.
Be present: Coming into the present provides a feeling of calm. People are always surprised at how prosaic mindfulness can be. You can name five things in the room. Breathe. Realize that in the present moment, nothing you’ve anticipated has happened.
Focus on what you can control: We may not be able to control what others are doing or even the current business climate, we can focus on what we can control. What your neighbor is doing is out of your control. What is in your control is staying six feet away from them and washing your hands.
Compassion: Everyone will have different levels of fear and grief, and it manifests in different ways. As deServing Leaders, we must be patient. Think about who someone usually is and not who they seem to be at this moment.
One of the most troubling aspect of the current pandemic is how open-ended it is. It helps to remember and remind others that this IS a temporary state. Using the techniques above can be useful to help ourselves, and our teams get through these uncertain times.